The Perfect Boat Guest…

In June, a fellow Maritimo owner posted a piece on Facebook about Boat Guests. It was humorous but got me thinking about writing a story about the topic.

As I started researching what others had written, I found a great article in Chesapeake Magazine called Capt. Jody’s Guide To Boat Etiquette (that’s where I lifted the cover sketch.)

Let me start by saying perfect is a poor choice of words. Nobody is perfect (except perhaps Mrs. Horne).

I don’t believe any Captain expects guests to be perfect; most just want them to be themselves, enjoy the cruise, and complement everything that’s happening aboard.

The Blessing of Boating

I recently saw a small yacht named No Vacancy. It saddens me because I took it to mean no one else is welcome.

Mrs. Horne and I seldom cruise without guests. Owning a boat is a blessing, and I firmly believe in sharing my blessings with others. Being on a boat is an incredible experience, and sharing it with others is a wonderful gesture of endearment.

You Are Special ❤️

While boats are blessings, owning one is expensive, and operating and maintaining one is time-consuming. But for Mrs. Horne and I, it is a labor of love.

So, when we invite you to come cruising with us, know that you are a special friend, and we are delighted to share the boating experience with you.

Your Assignment!

Your assignment on the boat is to enjoy the trip. Most captains just want you to have a great time on their boat. Pretend you’re a friend of the “Primary” on Below Deck; enjoy everything that comes your way with grace!

You were invited because the hosts enjoy your company, so just be yourself.

Do’s and Don’t’s

The Facebook post and the Chesapeake article have great tips for both passengers and crew. I concur with most, but mine are a little different.

Ask Before You Do

Like most boat owners, accidents happen. Over our decades of boating, I’d guess we’ve experienced thousands of dollars in damage.

Some of it was my own damn fault, but most of it came from well-intentioned guests doing things without asking first.

Understand, if you accidentally do something that damages our boat, it’s on me, not you. As captain, my job is to anticipate everything that might go wrong and nip it in the bud.

Also, understand that we will never let you pay for any damages you commit, which will probably make you feel worse – but those are our rules.

With this in mind, here are a few things to watch out for.

• Never drop a line unless asked – This has happened many times with friends who have spent time on lake boats. We all get back to the boat after a Dock and Dine and without notice, guests start uncleating dock lines. This was probably okay on our 26’ Whaler, but every boat since then was too big to hold to the dock by hand in an ocean breeze. As a general rule, never drop a line unless the Captain or crew tell you to.
• Don’t cleat or tie up unless you know how – I’ve seen way too many people – including paid dockhands, who don’t know how to properly cleat a line, but attempt to nonetheless. Here’s a link on how to cleat. This is also true for the Clove Hitch, which is the way we tie fenders to the railings. Here’s link on tying a Clove Hitch.
• If you didn’t take it out, don’t put it away – This is more of a kitchen thing, but I think it applies universally. Everything is strategically stored for safety in heavy seas. I like real glassware and I’ve devised systems to keep it safe underway. A dear friend thought she’d be helpful and washed our wine glasses and placed them on the shelf with the plastic glasses. A few waves later, I was cleaning up broken wine glasses and trying to make her not feel bad. It’s also a problem with lines and deck gear. When it comes time to dock, the crew is grabbing things in a hurry, but if something isn’t exactly where they last left it, it can become dangerous rather quickly.
• If you open it, close it – Its impossible for me or the crew to constantly check every door or hatch to see if someone left them open. If you know how to open something, make sure you close it correctly as soon as you’re done using it. And if you’re not sure how to open something, don’t guess, ask.
• Know where your life jacket is – Mrs. Horne is very good at managing this on Amazing Grace. We have a half dozen very stylish black O’Neil vests plus a dozen USCG Offshore life vests in the cockpit cabinet. I have never been in a situation where anyone on my boat needed a life jacket, and I hope I never will, but for folks who don’t swim, it can be very comforting to know where yours is.
• Operating Systems – Although a lot of things on the boat look like stuff you see at home, most of it special equipment designed for a boat. Turning things on (and off), opening and closing, making a cup of coffee, even flushing the toilet, may require special instructions. Just ask, listen, learn, and remember.
• Footwear – Obviously, boat shoes are perfect. Flip-flops tend to flip off at the worst time. Heels probably don’t belong on a boat. Most boat owners take their shoes off when they enter the boat. They’ll tell you don’t have to, but probably don’t mean it😂
• Watch The Chips – Years ago my friend Steve had a group of us out on his beautiful Germán Frers sailboat. My boss Dave loved potato chips and Steve tore his head off when he ate some over the boats teak decks. It turns out that the oil in chips severely stains teak for months. Don’t be Dave!

Stay Out Of Harm’s Way

Docking a boat is a little like landing a plane. There are a lot of systems that must be operated correctly and procedures that must be perfectly executed by the crew and dockhands to avoid drama, or worse.

You would never leave your seat and stand by the pilot as the plane lands, yet that’s exactly what many inexperienced passengers do as we approach the dock.

I would never leave port without a solid crew who knows exactly what’s expected and how to do it. This means if Mrs. Horne or I haven’t asked you to help, you will probably be in the way. As they say, “Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride!”

A Word About Rough Seas

A few years back, we had to make the eight-mile run from Oak Bluffs to Edgartown in Gale winds. We had a passenger on board with little boating experience. As I cleared the breakwater, leaving OB, she was sitting on the aft lounge in the salon – probably the most comfortable seat in 6-8’ head seas.

As I picked my way through the waves and Mrs. Horne was stowing gear, our guest suddenly jumped up and headed down the stairs.

About five minutes later, Mrs. Horne came in, and I asked her to check on our guest. She found her in her cabin – in the bow, clinging to her bed as the bow bounced up and down several feet.

Much like flying, boats often encounter tough weather. But unlike an airliner, the captain can’t turn on the seat belt sign. You may not know it, but some places on the boat are more comfortable in rough seas than others.

If you’re a passenger on a boat encountering rough seas, stay in your seat. You can ask the captain if there’s a more comfortable place to sit but don’t just get up and go anywhere. You may regret it.

Be Curious

Most captains love answering questions about their boats, boating in general, or the ports you’re visiting. It’s a great way to improve your Boating IQ and break up the monotony of piloting the helm on long hauls.

Notwithstanding the above, there are times when it’s best to let the captain focus on the task at hand.

• Leaving The Dock
• Navigating Treacherous Narrow Channels
• Navigating In Heavy Marine Traffic
• Docking

Pack With Caution

A boat is not a house – space is usually precious.

• Don’t surprise the captain with perishable food – I’ve had a guest show up with grocery bags full of food and hand them to me. If we are going out for days at sea, I have planned meals, snacks, and treats. And and all the refrigerators on board are probably full.
• Use a duffle bag – As the other authors have noted, hard suitcases with rollers are a pain on most boats under 100’. They don’t store easily and drag dirt on the boat.
• Regarding Beverages – I keep a lot of water, beer, wine, and spirits onboard Amazing Grace, but she’s a 60-footer. If you prefer a specific drink, discuss it with the captain beforehand. In most cases, it’s best to bring it. Be aware that coolers may or may not be welcomed. I recall someone bringing a huge hard case cooler with a few cases of beer to our 37′ Back Cove. As the seas built, it became a lethal sliding projectile.
• Regarding Gifts, Everyone loves a gift, but when it comes to boating, be careful. Small is better than big. Anything intended to be decor should be a neutral color to be safe. If it’s a bottle, be sure it’s something the captain or crew actually drinks. I’ve never drank scotch, and it breaks my heart every time someone gives me a $50 bottle of Johnny Walker Black. Candy or cookies are probably great, but a pie or cake presents a storage problem underway.

Enjoy Yourself

I can’t speak for all captains, but I can tell you that my #1 Goal for my guests is for them to have a fun and relaxing time. Trust me, we’ll ask if we need your help, but it will be a rare occasion. And if you want to learn more about boating on your cruise, just ask!